Resilience and Achievement

When you look around, everyday there is another news story you now have to ask what is the underlying motive or where is the good news. With COVID and politics impacting our everyday living, we need to strengthen our souls and get back to the basics to reach our personal achievements in life. What I mean by this is like a chicken soup for the soul and don’t sweat the small stuff. As I write this, I am forced into quarantine with my 6-year-old son as we both tested positive with COVID. At first, I can be sadden and frustrated by not able to work, go to the store, or enjoy the outside when it is nice, but the question is why not. When we let our thoughts build cages around us with false senses of boundaries and limitations, we easily allow depression, wasted time, and the little pains in our lives, both physical and emotional to take over our lives. This small change then spirals us downward if we cannot recognize what is occurring.

When looking at what happened two days ago, I was excited to detach a little and spend some one on one time with my son. I was sad not to see my other children or spouse who has to care for them, yet this is temporary. That is the key to moving on, this is temporary, and today beino a nice day with the windows upon on a February day in New England, allowed for the excitement of summer filled days to come. Also being stuck in a room does not mean that I cannot wonder to my backyard, I just have to be away from others and think of how to safely move through the house to that door.

Just as I realized the ability to enjoy the little things, you can do the same when faced with any obstacle in life. It is acceptable to recognize and feel sad if the event is negative in nature but note it is temporary for your choosing. Loosing a job, being hurt, loosing a loved one even with death, is all temporary as for when you loose this negative attraction you can start to move forward. How to do this can be in many forms but I advise a simple strategy to try first and if this fails, then schedule a time to talk to me and see if I can help or guide you on the best path as sometimes we need help if we are willing to listen.

To start on your own try this with a positive light: 1. Accept that is going on and do not deny it. This is critical as denying yourself will only keep you from moving on. Accepting does not mean you agree or like what is going on, but all that you are acknowledging the even or phenomenon that is occurring. 2. Reflect on your feelings around the even or phenomenon that occurred. This reflection has a few parts that you have to examine. First you should look at what happened means to who you are. So if you have no money and the bank took what was left to pay off a loan or you lost your job, a loved one, what does that action mean on your life. I have seen people cry over a lost job they always complained about, or a loved one they never called or talked to. If the bank to your money to pay off a loan you had with them that you were behind on, what kept you from seeing your financial freedom and situation to have foresight and an action plan. Second in this reflection, what could you do now, not yesterday or wish for in the future, but now that could help. If you lost a love one that you did not talk to much, can you build a memory box of that person, can you search your family and friends to see who you do not talk with currently? If the bank took the last of your money to pay off a loan before you can file for bankruptcy, what were you doing to earn money to pay off that loan? Did you talk to the bank? The list can go on, but what is in your power of control to address the matters at hand now. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride and take a job as a cashier if we cannot get work in the area we keep looking for if it means we cannot pay our bills. It means picking up the phone or writing the letter first rather than waiting for someone else to do it first. When we reflect on how that person or even identifies us, we will learn how to get past it. 3. Take an action plan and make simple steps. Maybe it is time to take a lower paying job to get the gears going to pay off our old debt. Maybe we have to look at what we spend our money on, as many times people say I just by food but are we looking for sales and coupons? Are we living in an expense area and maybe could move a few towns over to a cheaper rent and cost of living? Can we turn off the tv or put down the apps on our phones to call a loved one or see a loved one. 4. Make the action plans a routine and keep life simple. Many times people say they failed in life since they do not have a lot of money, cars, houses and such, but the more money you have, the more you own, the more headaches. And often we do not use the stuff we buy.

When we do these little things, we can keep our spirt in check and allow our souls to not be harried in dead weight of emotions. These emotions create weights upon our thoughts and leads us to less enjoyment which limits our engagement in our everyday lives. As we age, all the damage we did as kids to our bodies, it starts to catch up on us. This failing to do the simple steps above will often lead us to self-limiting behaviors and thus when we try to move again we feel pain. The muscles are sore from sitting, standing, and/or laying in poor position. This pain then limits our ability, or should I say our perception of what we can do and then we start to head down the hill into loosing our ability to do simpler things in life. Occupational pain sets in where the simple task of bending over to put on our socks soon hurts our backs. Now there can be other causes for back pain so make sure to look at all causes, but the pain that we think is so limiting really is just the muscles that became tight and weaker to support the extra pounds we put on while sulking in despair over a negative phenomenon or event. We must seek the positive in every opportunity even death to enjoy the little things in life around us. As we do this in a routine, we will start to create a vision for ourselves in the future to work towards and achieve.

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